Boy Dilema

Well I got dumped again. What's new though, right? I just don't know what to do with myself. Every guy I meet ends up falling in love with my best friend instead of me. What should I do? I really want to find Mr. Right so that I can finally settle down and have a family of my own. Someone please help.

Mother's Day

I don't know what I am getting my mom for Mother's Day yet and I don't even know if I will be able to get her anything because I have to pay off a damn fine and all of my money is going towards that. I love my mom and last year I didn't get her anything and it makes me feel terrible. Oh well. I guess I will figure it out somehow.

Being Single Sucks

I just want to find that perfect person to cuddle with when I'm feeling down. Someone to love me for me and they overlook my flaws. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently it is. I see all these people from high school getting married and having kids. That's my dream  too. So why isn't it happening to me? Is God punishing me for something I did? Will it ever happen for me at all? These are questions I will lay awake at night thinking about. If anyone has any advice, I'm sure up for listening to it.

?????????????????

Knowing that the person who has supposedly claimed to be you best friend for years doesn't actually care about how you feel. Isn't that what a best friend is for? She is supposed to be there to support you when you can't be strong. I am so stressed beyond belief. I have court coming up, both of my sisters have surgery coming up, and my supposed best friend is really sick. I don't know what to do.

Teenage Regrets

Don't let the title fool you. I don't have normal teenage regrets. Most teenagers regret going out and partying and getting drunk and high. I didn't have that. My parents didn't let me go out and have fun whenever I wanted to. I got to listen to my best friend tell me when she was going out and what all her plans were with some other friends. She was telling me about when they go out of town and just cruise on back roads. Just having some innocent fun and some of the stories I have heard are actually pretty funny. But here lately I have really been thinking about it more than I used to. At that time I just felt left out, but now I fell like I missed out on some awesome experiences. I want to go to the  pool every day, go down to the river, sit around a bon fire and drink a little, and cruise on back roads just for the hell of it. I got to go out and cruise on back roads one time and that was just like a tease to me. I wanted and still do want more of that. Now I just kind of lay around and wonder what that would have been like. I know it wasn't my fault that I didn't get to do any of that, but I still regret it. On the bright side I still get to have a little taste of it this coming summer. We are going to be going to some fairs and going to the pool which I'm so excited for. At least I do get to live a little before I get too old.

Looking For Love

I am a huge romantic, but here lately I have been doubting whether or not love even exists anymore. I'm a dreamer and just want someone to love me for me. I want someone to take walks with, to cuddle with, to settle down with, and go on picnics with. Someone to talk to until the sun comes up. Someone to lay with in the middle of no where and look at the stars. But it just seems like love is not in my future. Maybe I'm just trying too hard to find someone. I know that I'm still young and have time to find it, but at the same time it just feels like life is flying past me at high speed and I can't keep up. I want life to just slow down and wait for me. I want to get married and start a family. That is a huge thing for me. I know I'm not the prettiest, the smartest, or the skinniest, but I do have a great personality, big heart, and I'm unique in my own way. So what's wrong with me? Why can't I find the decent guy that I want? Can anyone tell me why?

Rough Patch

Been going through a really rough patch in my life right now. I have to go to court January 13th and I could be facing some jail time. It's not something that I like to think about, but I have come to face reality and I know that it really is happening. I have a lot of support and I have been praying every day. I just really and truly hope that God won't let me suffer like that. It just seems like there has been more bad in my life than good and I think I am due for some luck. Life keeps screwing me over again and again and again. It's my turn to be happy, don't you think?