Just Really Don't Know What To Do

Well I'm trying to live life to the fullest right now and it's really not working. My own family doesn't even care what happens to me. People say that I had it coming and I'm not afraid to admit that, but can we please let it go and let me enjoy the little bit of freedom I have left. I just want to have people believe in me and tell me I can get through this. And to add on top of things Troy is being a dick. He is saying a crap ton of shit to me and he says that he's just kidding, but I know better than that. The fact that I might go to prison in a month and a half is a scary thought and the only person that is truly helping me feel the slightest bit better is my best friend Amanda. Not sure what else I can really do. I guess I will update this later.

I Hate This

This morning I woke up and went to kitchen table. Then I stretched and for some reason I expected Adam to come up behind me hug me. I don't know why I was thinking that way, but now I'm going to be depressed for the rest of the day.

Nothing But Pain

I have finally decided to allow myself to heal. I have opened my heart back up to feel the hurt and the pain that Adam left me with. It sucks and I don't want to feel that way, but I know that if I ever want to truly move on I have to feel this way and get over it. I don't want to hurt someone else because of my issues. So it looks like I'm stuck feeling this way. I've had all of the pain and I have gained nothing.

Another Life Update

Well I had a boyfriend, but I broke up with him because the relationship wasn't going anywhere in my opinion. My parents hated me for awhile and they thought that the only reason  I broke up with him was because they loved him and I was apparently rebelling against everything that they say or want. Obviously that's not true. I thought that it would be better to break it off early rather than to lead him on and have him getting more hurt in the long run. I have some dates lined up and I am desperately hoping that one of them works out. Other than the fact that my love life sucks, everything else is going pretty well. I might have a decent babysitting job, I have great friends, and I'm having my family over for dinner this weekend. Other than that I have nothing else to write about.