Working On It

I am working very hard trying to get my life together. Searching for a job, letting my friends and family back into my life, and being a lot more social than I was for ten months. I had practically cut everyone out of my life and that was a huge mistake. I am truly blessed that they have chosen to stand by my side even though I blew them off numerous times. I learned my lesson the hard way and I refuse to make it again. The people that really and truly love me and care about me are the ones that I am going to keep in my life. I am making some changes in my life because I want to be a different and a better person. I am making a few physical changes to go along with the personal ones. I want to get a three tattoos for sure and then I want to dye my hair blonde with red streaks. After all that I am going to pierce my ears and my nose. I think these changes are going to be good for me. I can't wait to be different person.
Being away from Adam has allowed me time to grow and has given me a lot of time to think. At first I thought about the regret, what I could do to change his mind about me, and if there was anything I could have done differently. But then I started to think about all the good things that came from Adam leaving me. I have fun now. I go out with my friends. My family talks to me like a real person again. I love all these things. Adam leaving me was the best thing he could have ever done for me. Sure there were times that he made me truly happy and we had fun, but his heart was never really in the relationship. I used to think he was my world, but now I know better. He often tried to buy my affection when all I ever really wanted was to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie. Adam was the worst mistake I ever made and believe me when I say I have done some pretty stupid things, but he was the worst one.
Honestly I didn't feel like being abused anymore. He never physically hurt me, but emotionally he practically killed me. He cheated on me three times. He never let me go out with my friends unless he was with or I promised to be back by a certain time. He never supported me in my dreams. Never told me I could do it and that sucks. He never wanted to show me off to the world and whenever we did go out, he wouldn't kiss me or hold my hand. And when he did propose to me, he didn't get down on his knee.
Now that he is gone I am so much happier and I plan on keeping it that way.